I hope mine doesn't look like that
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
