If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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