You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
