there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
