What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
