): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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