if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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