I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
