I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
