I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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