soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
