Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
