last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
