Im at strip club and am horny
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
