I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
