guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
