If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
