Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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