after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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