Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize