theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
two words...techno handjob
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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