My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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