he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
