I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
