i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
