I'm drive I can fine osifer
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
