went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
should my penis look like a turkey
you had me at cake vodka
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
