I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize