idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
