why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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