There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
