I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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