Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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