Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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