How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
