I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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