oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
