just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I want her autograph on my taint
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
