Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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