Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
there is puke in my bra ... again
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