you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
