Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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