Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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