i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
