I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
