doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
