Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
