your parents love me but you hate me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
