i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
