I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize