and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
