If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
