yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
