Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
