just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think people are normalizing furries
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
