I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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