Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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